I’m Rockin’ This Dad Bod

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I’m rockin’ this dad bod
& making it look good
Unapologetically localized
Home in Suburban neighborhoods
I’m not trying to distract
Any of the ladies living nearby
I’m just trying to live my life
I’m just a normal boring guy
I’m prematurely grumpy
A hermit; writing down in the dungeon
Devastatingly handsome, locked away
Keep out! – here be a curmudgeon

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Red Lipstick & A Tight Ponytail

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Red lipstick & a tight ponytail
The pretty piano player; a punk rockette
The domestic goddess with a need to be clean
Living on the edge of the cosmopolitain set
Hoarding her guilty pleasures fiercely
The moral ambiguity is a stubborn crutch
Ignoring nature’s perfectly placed laws
But she’ll only accept the light’s soft touch
Wearing an evening gown at her elegant leisure
Within her mind, no better way to take a selfie
She’s blunt with her standards & expectations
But lucky for us all, my poems are gluten free

 

Image by Kelsey Vere from Pixabay

Tie Me Up With Your Panties

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Tie me up with your panties

My penis filled with retro arena glamour rock

Remember when your mom caught me

Janking it into your sock?

 

 

 

 

 

*this is an older poem I found. I’m not particularly proud of it, but it makes me laugh. I hope you do as well. 😉