I’m not as worthless as you made out
A gentle soul in spite of my roar
I’m sensitive, yet prone to shout
I regret much, wish you returned for more
I’m not always easy to be near
I realize I’m a man of many flaws
But I’m trying to live without fear
Embracing peace & love without pause
Scatterbrained today
Feeling raw weight of tension
The world’s burden
Hindrances to fateful ascension
Regret & sad resignation
This wasn’t in the script
Perseverance through hope
It’s the only way – she quipped
The beat making my Diesels sweat
This is beyond my usual scene
Usually I can’t dance without regret
Needing a lot more alcohol & caffeine
Glow sticks & the whole lot to lampoon
I can’t live life with digitized crap
Moving my body like an analog buffoon
I need to find a pretty lady to sit upon my lap
I spy one in my dizzied & frazzled state
I could definitely make her my new habit
She’s smiling at my attempt to communicate
My God, I see curves like Jessica Rabbit
I shake my head allowing reality to seep
Good fortune has shined down in this nightlife culture
I straighten my clothes; thinking ‘don’t be a creep’
& I flash the Cheshire grin of a hungry vulture
On the shores of Ol’ Patagonia
While the citizens did sleep
Youthful fear of affection
Yet into the woods, they silently creep
Don’t let on how you feel
For you might get what you want
The pain of admitting you care
& perchance it might forever haunt
The burden of carrying embarrassment
& possibly feeling regret this long
Thy youth’s clear true love
But hindsight tells me I was wrong
For I wasn’t brave enough to trust
Too busy being incorrect by name
Fear welling into my soul
But I loved her all the same
It’s not fair to bring up old times
Immaturity & self-reject are not a virtue
I don’t deserve her thoughts nor sentiments
In the end, never good enough for you
Still thinking of what might’ve been
Or an excuse to freshly misbehave
Angst & teenaged awkwardness
Take a shot & take it all to my grave
I can’t explain
I don’t have the frightful words
Just know I can still feel
Yet my notions contain the absurd
These nuisance actors linger
Youthful mistakes I always regret
The musty smell of a cracked spine
Odes & reams I can never forget
Only loyal to the dead
Keeping faith with those gone before
Thoughts hard to shake loose
My left foot dragging on the floor
What did I drink last night
Her voice pounding in my head
Regret fills me from within
I know I should have drank water instead
This is it
The end of where I care
You won’t make me cower
I won’t return there
I’m going to dance out loud
I’m going to rock that kazoo
You can’t make me regret
I’ll shake my tush like Baloo
I cannot connect the dots
Like I used to
My mind goes blank
Far too easily
& I wonder
If this was really
The life
For me
Captain Q 