Trying to overcome an existential crisis
Harking back to those foundational years
Emerging out of my own wounded shadow
Striving headlong into those ancient fears
Transitionally limping along these days
But my injuries aren’t those to be seen
Nor the stretch marks upon my soul
Yearning for the notion of becoming clean
Throughout it all, forever fond of the Blonde
Woman, hold me close to your breast
Tell me this life is going to be all right
That together, entangled; we’ll always be blessed
Standing along the naked row
Viewing our lives with unfettered eyes
Remaining steadfast throughout
Though cast aside from the allies
Nervous in spite of yourself
Tired of love & life failing to agree
Inner strength to hold you through
Vulnerable like you said you’d never be
Rigormortis of the soul
Dejected along emotional failings
Tempered seas begin to roll
White knuckles; hold fast to the railings
Sorting feelings like a rolodex
Trampled yearning from Jaguar years
Unprepared for survival
Causing the most elaborate of your fears
Processing out foreign memories
But the answers just get in the way
Undisciplined in self-diagnosis
A sturdy smile in the face of the seaspray
Relaxing in my hammock
Feeling the gentle breeze
Trying to close my eyes
But visions of her tease
My head starts churning
My heart begins to race
Need to stick the landing
Without falling on my face
Along the way in
I’m shedding all my clothes
By her sly smile
My beautiful woman already knows
Once upon a suburban street
Where we lived, loved & laughed
Summer comes early in Jax
So, this house no longer has a draft
Warmth lets me resume my natural being
Yet windows aren’t doors; they’re see-through
I strut along, giving my neighbors
A bit more than a casual view
I’m not your reluctant hero
I’m nothing along those lines
Don’t think so highly of a fool
With your lips crumbling into your wine
Please don’t raise me up to be much
I’m not what you see with your eyes
A figment of an imagination’s dream
I’m lost within these warm Florida skies
Captain Q 