To lead a life of silent perspective
Not wasting energy being against
something
Instead forging a new path
One of my own making
Not to cause erosion
So I leave my boots back on the main road
Walking softly; causing no ripples
Society has no room for a soul like mine
You’re trying to be Alternative
But you didn’t know Alternative was a thing
Concepts from days long past
So what, you’re awkward & like to sing
Angst from deep before you were born
Grungy flannels stolen from brothers backs
Unironically strutting to messy riffs
The beauty’s in what the structure lacks
Friends & family are pleading with you
Please return to the organized norm
But you can’t rebel from your soul
& you’ll never forgive yourself if you conform
Our books are more important than our looks
Greater appeal in the appearance of our shelves
For I need more than rouge-disguised hooks
After all, through time our souls advocate for themselves
Feeling the soft, thick cotton
Upon my firm foundation
This bottom is solid
Do not be fooled by the twinkle in my eye
What drawer do you keep your stockings
Without secrets this life would be boring
Realize we’re all a little vain
Or we’d never get dressed in the morning
Moonshine martinis for the quiet lady
We all need an excuse to clear our minds
Offering a compassionate ear
The clues exist once you pull back the rind
Finding lipstick stains in the spilled ink
Dangerous curves under a vintage coat
Hushed tones as to not spook such a woman
The peculiarities of each soul; I take note
Not content with common thought
Moved to feeling in the handwritten form
Translating the Siren’s voice
Higher levels of not tolerating the norm
We need to break free of these doldrums
Return to where truth spoken with the quill
Compassion in community not a fragmented society
Where we’re doomed to remain at a standstill
There are those secrets we whisper
& then there are the ones we keep
Compressed down, deep inside
The one that makes us cry as we sleep
We are all messed up creatures
Some days I might smile & think I’m well
But only I know the Hell simmering within
I’ll continue to rise, but some things I’ll never tell
Discovering the nun on the radio
Still bleeding, but only in black ink
Desert highways from a distant youth
Debated truths & now fallen out of sync
Wiping fingerprints from the Dial
Our subscription long ago expired
Shifting hemlines & the fate of love
Reception’s attenuated; must’ve crossed wires
Haven’t seen a service station in hours
Sweating profusely with not a cloud in the sky
She presses the accelerator & coyly winks
I’m dizzy & both our throats are terribly dry
Blowing the dust off our individuality
Making sure our hands have the proper grip
Clutching the pen to jot a delicate ode
Black coffee; bold inscriptions with each sip
Once awake, I turn to the written word
Exacting the notes conjured; never by rote
Lost with the margins of a fool’s errand
I’m quiet, but compassion might just be the antidote
Just a wannabe luddite
But I’m a little too neurotic for that
I can’t let go of technology
Still hardwired to the cloud
& my residual purchases
Walking through the neon district
Our histories left un-mended
Leaving footprints in the rain
Dark of night thoroughly descended
Naked recitals on a rainy day
Pursuing words off the tip of her tongue
The bookmark’s subtle movement
But that bell won’t be un-rung
I have a weakness for smart women
There’s a deliciousness to their thoughts
Flaunting her drop-dead genius
Leaving me bothered & hot
Innocently lewd ending with a flourish
She comes to me, reaching to kiss my earlobe
Retreats with a curtsy à la nude
She’s done; winks & pulls closed her robe
Y’all, we have soccer moms trying to ban books
Wishing to shield things they don’t want you to know
But revolutions & thoughts just won’t burn
Intellect cannot be stopped, you merely make them slow
These fundamentalists get hot under the collar
When they see repression, they begrudgingly swoon
A weird fetish to extinguish ideas & desire
Appalled by anyone thinking of Love before noon
The censorious are coming for your hearts & minds
Seething with hate for anything silently inappropriate
Your Book declares thou with sin cannot cast thy stone
Minor scandals not so obscure when karma retaliates
Being fallacious isn’t as grand as it sounds
Yet, ya’ll out here in the streets committing slander
I refuse to pander to your anger & delusions
You’re just waiting to be shut in, unloved; smelling of dander
Do you ever find yourself lost within your misguided intent
I realize you’re genuinely hoping to shield the youth
But they don’t need your unfounded reservations
Nor do they respect your faulty judgement in hiding the truth
Please, cease & desist with your moral hubris
You’re foolish, stop before you fulfill the prophesies of 1984
You’re Orwellian without the perfect irony
But, you’re not ready to deal with the weight of evermore
Bradbury warned us about erroneous application of law
I can see we won’t keep our rights without a fight
Justice leading us into a deprivation of choice
You need to remember Jesus hung with ladies of the night
Within your imprudent latching, you’ve been misled
Matters not if you have delicate sensibilities, the Piper will get paid
I believe you to be rash, but I’m no one of any consequence
I may be deluded, but I believe you gotta get properly laid
Seeking out the sunshine
Grasping at anything bright
Echoes from the haunting
Howls from deep in the night
Taking the long way home
Away from all things too much
Avoiding stress & transgressions
Trappings of modernity & such
We shall find an answer
Within the confines of peace
Our aims are good & true
Seeking love until the end of life’s lease
Pierced & tattooed
In the lower latitudes
Listening to Bikini Kill
Avoiding life’s incessant shrill
Drinking from our enemy’s skull
Filled to the brim, yeah its full
Testify; they’re coming for our throats
Burn the boats
Old Floridian parchment
Written histories upon ink stains
How to think within today’s tragedies
Wondering how any sanity can remain
We try to build ourselves back up
When the world tears itself down
The ruckus in the middle of silence
The tears when you can’t quite frown
Truth isn’t worth what it used to be
Righteousness has overtaken the price
We struggle to exist without persecution
They’re coming for you, even if we play nice
Some days I’m out here
Wishing I was more conventional
My manhood for entertainment purposes only
We survived our youth
Do feminists still wear pink lingerie?
For the private use of their audience
Not to be used without their expressed written consent
I want to be subversive for more than shock value
To be a thorn in the sensitive & proverbial side
I want to spark action & not merely IG posts
The revolution will be dire, not a Fantasyland ride
Sliced limes from a rusty-handled dagger
Placing erratic value on worn objects
Mundane property holders for our words
Soaking quietly into the meaning of the text
The sun still feels warm even at this hour
Tangible heaviness keeps the mind sane
We survived; regardless your thoughts on America
Tomorrow we return to fight, so others may remain
Events like Watergate come & go
Revealing to the public our national shame
We no longer trust the government
Any effort to deceive us is just plain lame
Our capitalistic masters heading for disaster
These pathetically absurd
Creating content for the algorithm
But they don’t care about our words
Dr. Strangeglove is plotting
The folly of the Pentagon staff
Making old ladies weep
When only evil men can still laugh
Time keeps ticking, even when we hurt
Old white men will begin to campaign
Dropping promises like forgotten love notes
The people cast aside once they pop champagne
You ask me frivolous questions
Who shall I vote for
I don’t know who cares
But, I’m rooting for no one in 2024
Small movements while sorting absent thought
Surrealist painting hanging over the bedframe
Remaining warm with past subscriptions of the Dial
Shunning the past, but somehow still the same
I cannot make myself extroverted
I’ve never been a joiner; not very verbose
An overactive imagination & searching mind
Yet, outwardly I appear sullen & morose
I’m trying to crawl out of my own way
I’ve been a misogynist & a cynic; it’s all in the file
Shedding the weight of pessimistic sin
Yet some days I still wear a curmudgeon’s smile
Old world sensibilities
Recounting how they used to exist in solitude
Before landing upon foreign shores
Bringing hostility & menacing attitudes
But we’re the aliens we’ve dreaded
The scourge has already been here
Talking heads with no shortage of breath
Keep reminding us who we should fear
Wet Sunday mornings
Grass still damp from the rain
Fresh air still cool to the touch
Rising without a hint of pain
Voluptuary visions upon a treasured bond
Hoping we might become bosom buddies
Remotely fond of the Bon Vivant’s taste
When I proposed to you in the study
My parochial quips; unacceptable in polite society
Profane & unprintable odes to her formidable posterior
Writing what catches my mind’s eye
I can’t help it if my motives might be ulterior
Vice & folly are complimentary rectitudes
But please stop staring at the lady’s chest
There’s only so much to explain away
& no one cares the origin of your Preppy crest
Tell me what constitutes good head
With my mind clinging to her curves
These dreams; had their own Silicone Valley
Yet, when she speaks I’m a pile of nerves
Boxing Day is the day for cunninglingus
Cauliflower ear from her thighs
Witnessing nature’s perfect curvature
Nonperishable lust eschews the dandy’s lie
Vanity is fundamentally unstable
Draping you in silks & laces so gaudy
New souls full of an easy virtue
Just know, how badly I want your bawdy
They want to burn all the books
& so I’ll sift through the ashes
To reignite the magic
Knowledge amongst the backlashes
Her dresser filled with private thoughts
Some good, wholesome memories; all thrilling
No explanation to fate, but its all we’ve got
Uncovering calm once we seek & are finally willing
I shed my clothes as she unbraided my defenses
Her blessings covered by tight-knits
God alone formed her
Shrines to erections of yore
Directions to the Promised Land, I implore
I want a match – a sturdy blonde
Not a waif to knock over in the breeze
Pulling ¥1000 from her bra
Causing her heart to thaw
Bunched dresses & undue stresses
Licking the condensation off my glass
My memories over perfectly stretched fabric
We have but today to become interlaced
I try to speak; her beauty’s making me dumb
& never failed to impress
I remain aware;
Still here to bare my soul & my bum
Let me borrow a glass of your mom’s wine
I get thirsty in these evening hours
Noticing silhouettes moving in the kitchen
Before too long I might need a quick shower
This humidity is slowly trying to roast me
I’m soaking wet & need fresh shirtsleeves
Her beauty wouldn’t exist without God’s consent
I’m merely appreciating that in which I believe
My words not yet upon the honorable shelf
Needing to be written before displayed
Returning to the beginner’s mind
Where a fresh outlook might be relayed
The quiet intent of seeking wisdom
But maybe we could apply it
Without toxic soapbox rhetoric
No use in deflecting nor to deny it
Navigating the rows of knowledge
The sheer beauty of words, staked by reams
Our hearts insulated from reality
By the rumination of our dreams
Re-spooling sun-faded mixtapes
Dropping clues of an intervening soul
Complex mechanisms of a hindered heart
Beating too full for this jaded world
Wounds from yesteryear still to raw
Let us not discuss the past
My wineglass perched on your ass
After the night we spent tonguing in cursive
Stagnant & installed as my petrified goddess
Wishing modern love was more immersive
Making memories of stained glass
Naked with our flesh intertwined
Fresh thoughts I need to write down
Either way, I know you’re forever mine
The growing need to wake up & create
Her stockings laid gently
over the ornate partition
Sacred vulnerabilities shared
Poetic affirmations after discarding
the bland tropes
All sins must return to the sea
Feeling out of sorts on a Spring afternoon
Broken teeth on the cog / an unbalanced wheel
Blinking to bring the world back into focus
Society commingling with that natural world
Searching to absorb any thought I can feel
I try to smile; they said I’d be better soon
Sheep in wolves’ clothing
Alone in the natural spirals
A delicate peace teetering
In a time when hate’s gone viral
A profound wilderness
With the Shepherd long forsaken
Truth & reason at risk
With Faith’s foundations shaken
Does compassion still exist
Love faltering/dreams now monochrome
The Devil removing his mask
Once he’s comfortably at home
Many a boy – quick in his view
Looking for the easy girls of a soft dawn
Those who are comely & always giggle
With an fresh smile & seldom else on
They know not the pleasure of true joy
The beauty of engaging an active mind
The coaxing out of the right words
An equal in intellect you might find
But I, who finds himself at sunset
Have indeed heard the siren’s voice
& the pleasure of being selected
By a grown woman’s choice
Intellectual mistresses
Words & ideas laced with stimulants
Coaxing my mind from sullen thought
Pulling me free from these malcontents
She caught me watching laundry dry
And imagining what’s underneath
Thinking to myself, how much more beauty
Lies hidden from view
That she might bequeath
The heartfelt rendition claimed my attention
Quiet moments only my heart knows
Removed from the trappings of society
The constructs placed before us
The silent agreement through appeasement
I am not content with following them
Obeying their rules
Arbitrary that they be
Breaking out on my own
Away from the nonsensical hate
We can re-create a courteous society
Without the need to execute our leaders
Sharpening our swords before we
vote
We must keep them honest
Cavernous depression falling down without truth
Wet streets refracting the bitter twilight of the moon
Trenches & overcoats pulled tight to repel the world
A need for answers that cannot wait past this noon
Try to place everything perfectly into its correct box
Finding out the little control we have while we’re here
Knowing the results we wish to see once the sun rises
No need to stay dry when you’re drowning in this fear
To lick history off the back page
Ingesting dust spores & all that came before
Communing with the dead souls
Whose words are always coming back for more
Jagged edges to familiar love
The slow moving version of time
Transgressing over our past sins
Rehashing the ancient flavors of grime
Lady, I don’t mind if you look
Hell, I’ll give you a wink & a twirl
Alas, that’s all I can give
I can’t go home with you, girl
For my bride awaits my arrival
These eyes still see, yet never roam
I’m just a simple guy
Knowing exactly what I have at home
Late nights blend into early mornings
Up with the weirdos on the street
Seeing visions where the shadows were
My mind tripping; my instincts in retreat
All the sand has fallen from the hourglass
Dangerous curves when I’m confused
Punching time clocks when I should slumber
Paycheck feels light/ feel like I’m being used
Leaving my underwear in the middle of the floor
I need more, but its high time for bed
To sleep, to dream; an impossible task
Passing ships with everything left unsaid
Not the shortest skirt
But it set my imagination ablaze
If I was any good at writing
I’d release you from this maze
For good measure
You’ll receive this quiet example
Though be courteous
Upon my heart, please do not trample
We try to achieve anything
Whether it be great or to merely outlast
Winding up happy is miraculous
Each day tries to dredge up the past
So finding beauty or a smile
In the midst of all this soulcrushing
Can be the hidden meaning
That sends the blood rushing
Please tell me a story
Give me a reason to smile
Distract me from this distress
& forget these damn trials
One day, these will be a memory
A nightmare of us being apart
But until that blissful moment
I’d love something from the heart
Unsure footing on a Spring night
All dressed up, but the music’s wrong
She’s looking quite delectable
She’s tough, so my charm won’t run long
We used to have private parties
Back when we were young & dumb
The future always so far in front of us
I was too preoccupied with getting a crumb
But life goes quicker than we knew
Grappling with how our forties came by surprise
Time may be a fickle little bitch
But she’s still the apple of these eyes
Pinkie’s up!
Sipping quietly from the China bone
Portraying sophistication
Doing more than required to atone
Watching waves by heat of day
Our vanities reproduced to tangible form
Creating content for the congregations
But translated to fit a polite norm
No matter how bad the day is
I’m always going to be here for you
The world will seek to destroy
& They’re going to want to kill me too
As long as we stand together
We’ll repel horrors too evil to describe
Our love linked arm in arm
Drowning out their heinous diatribe
Picking up my woman along the way
A short enough skirt that’ll surely tease
Soft tones upon the extinguished day
Wine & song that I might forever please
Snapping fingers & popping buttons
Ample latitude that I might play her fool
Admittedly; for her touch I’m a glutton
My own words reveal me to still be uncool
My ravishing mettle giving her just cause
Subtly picking up her heels and hemline
This rakish spirit providing her pause
Exposing joy & unadulterated sunshine
I’m tired, weary, fatigued, however you want to call it
This world is tearing itself apart, with no end in sight
Neighbors can’t stand the appearance of each other
If we don’t swerve, we’re all going to face the fiery night
Reject hate, reject them, reject the world’s system
I don’t care if kindness long ago went out of fashion
Don’t accept your options, make your own way
We need return to art, return to love & compassion
‘They’ are anyone who’ll tell you we can’t survive
Without stooping down to unconscionable degrees
Rebel, refuse & reclaim enlightenment & love
Lead ourselves away from their dysfunctional societies
God reserves a place in Hell for those who spout hate
Whether you believe in Christ or what Buddha taught
Love doesn’t see the differences between us
We can do better; a peaceful way must be sought
Politicians are no more than door to door salesmen
Fraudulent purveyors of the American dreamscape
But we, the silent underground, emerging each day
Fed up with their vision, proof that heroes don’t wear capes
Image by Grae Dickason from Pixabay
Released from the burden of perfection
Onward to complete this chance
Soaking in my soul’s refraction
I’m not grandiose, but I’ll enhance
Ripening with a golden age
This is nothing but a jagged gleam
A smudge on the stark white page
Determined to be more than a dream
I’m not your reluctant hero
I’m nothing along those lines
Don’t think so highly of a fool
With your lips crumbling into your wine
Please don’t raise me up to be much
I’m not what you see with your eyes
A figment of an imagination’s dream
I’m lost within these warm Florida skies
She makes my heart beat
The way she coyly flirts
She always has my attention
When she flips up her skirt
I continuously feast upon her
The world knows I’m rather fond
I love her beyond my words
The girl with the dirty blonde
Philosophical integrity
You’ve got to find the right course
Hope & love
You’ve got to get up on the right horse
I fell out of Jerry’s beard
That trip was critical & weird
Pushin’ the limit in this life
Don’t confuse me with strife
Keep your learned looks
I’ll steal a trove of books
Answers come when they please
Send me back to sail the seas
I’ll dry off at the Westward Ho!
For it is still all who you know
Last of the Cold War babies
Growing up with certain expectations of a guy
Snorting testosterone without wiping thy nose
Be a brute; don’t ever let them see you cry
But I’ve learned more from the women
Multigenerational lies narrating manhood
Walk like a man; talk like a savage
Bold proclamations are seldom very good
These days we find ourselves defending facts
Ultimate truth disparaged amongst the crowd
Yet I remember wisdom in spite of the chaos
To be subtle when the whole world is loud
Predawn hours with scalding coffee
Reading myths & legends from days of old
Disrupting the current faulty paradigms
Audibly spoken & once more properly told
These distorted visions have escaped
Any deliberate application of thought
No longer shilling for flawed traditions
Nor quoting misfired dissertations gone to rot
I just want to dance in the living room
Twirling you in your thrift store dress
I want to ignore the impending doom
Taking you in my arms always relieves stress
Together, forever united, we cannot fail
Though you might roll your eyes & scoff
When I tell you my pants are also on sale
For soon they too will be half off
The uneasiness in beauty’s proximity
Erasing the value once one’s pleasing
Can’t be looked upon as respectable
When they’re out here coy & teasing
I’m embarrassed I caught your eye
& for you being pleasantly riled
I accidentally sent you reeling
All because I innocently smiled
A paradox in moral judgement
A blush when you find a stranger appealing
Flush with these strange emotions
Owed an apology ‘cause of how you’re feeling
Your sensibilities won’t allow you
To be caught with the last temptation
Eroded virtue of a wandering character
But we’ll call the whole thing an aberration
Time isn’t what it once was
No longer a never-ending resource
Now I feel the aches & pains
Groggy; consuming the steaming life-force
Wiping the startled sleep from my eyes
The attempts at a structured morning
Lost a step; hard to think these days
Age comes with little to no warning
My morning coffee; a cup of optimism
Providing hope you’ll survive the day
Please stop talking that incessant shrill
Your negative drivel is constantly in my way
One more word; I might be forced to kill
Hanging with crazy, creative types
They spin your mind in awkward ways
Melding simple ideas into revolutions
Expanding out into our civilian days
They’re different by their very nature
Never able to hide within society
Changing the world with each thought
Their beauty laced with inherent piety
The harsh expectations of a lady
Rolling you out of your nylons
& into a plush bathrobe
Coffee tasting like steel girded pylons
Theories of internal transformation
The silence of the changing tides
The faded fashion of a glimpsed youth
Finding a peace where we can both reside
Waking up with a distracted mind
Aftershocks from a week on the grind
Trying to find value before the end of life’s lease
Notes on the venerable self & a lyrical muse to find
Walking up the cold steps of Old Main
A place to encounter books out of the rain
An affinity for the ones with the creases
A shared notion of binding pain
Wondering what fresh barriers to get through
But, I’m not here to explain anything to you
I’m here to love you as we search for peace
That our story & passion continue their rendezvous
The floorboards weren’t so cold this morning
Days grow longer, you can sense it in the air
Constellations shifting in the early sky
Brewing coffee pitch black to see if my pulse is still there
Waking to see the American Dream broken
But that’s only if you ever believed it was real
For now I’m going to enjoy this cup while it’s warm
& bask in this Springtime while I can still feel
You don’t want to admit
That you possibly have some feels
The epic curve of your bosom
Heaving with a thought that I’ll steal
Your subtle plaid skirt laid out nicely
Legs tucked behind your shapely derriere
Forever might be nice if you accept
Together we meld into a love extraordinaire
Starting the morning in the big chair
Listening to train sounds on the record
From dad’s vintage vault
Drinking black coffee
Looking out the window
At the silence down the street
What shall we make of this day?
A gleam in your eye
Like we’re getting away with it
A quiet moment for ourselves
Not exactly what you expected
A touch more intense than you’re used to
But I only know how to kiss deeply
I’m trying to reach your soul
& feel every heartbeat
Good morning
Light stretching & taking hold
Too long under these covers
Happenchance favors the bold
Time to spread these sea legs
Arching my back & flexing my arms
It feels good to still be alive
We’ve shuttered close, yet escaped any harm
Feeling a great need to create
This is a crazy world today
When will we ever thrive when
We don’t remember what we say
Hidden slowly in your dreams
Reality hinders our solutions
Time tocks against us now
Feeling abstract absolution
I can’t speak to you with an unbuttoned blouse
I can’t stop dreaming about what might be
My eyes drift as I’m quiet as a mouse
I can’t help but objectify all that I see
I’m trying to be your gentleman caller
My purpose was to be on an even level
But you have me squirming a little taller
Falling for you again as you’re perfectly disheveled
We used to know the truth
The fundamentals of our lives
Misplaced inspiration in youth
We, the lost children, who survived
Abandoned by artists searching for gold
Forgetting the dream of accepting yourself
Never admitting we’ve grown this old
Rejection of impending imperial wealth
Fuck your republicans & democrats
Those who sold the vision with betrayal
Insensitive bastards of a Cheshire Cat
Unsteady appeasement & divided we fail
Waking up to exposed sunshine
I find myself easily seduced
Once I tried become a Stoic
But with my heart, it’s no use
I’m a hopeless romantic
But I try not to let anyone know
In this disheveled morning
I’ll have another merlot
We were brave to love that way
So young & so devastatingly free
Before we knew the harsh realities
Of how the world doesn’t want us to be
Who are you when you aren’t the woman of my dreams?
Slight hesitation in the shimmer of your cocktail dress
Writing poetry when we should be making love
In a world of tragedy, how’d I become this blessed?
I’ll allow you space to grow older gracefully
You are free to live however feels just right
I’m not one to interfere nor infringe
Just remember me before you blow out the lights
Let us not count, pluck nor dye the grey hairs
I’m going to love you long after life permits
Our souls commingling in the afterlife
With all that said, I’ll still think you have great tits
These fallible bodies getting in the way
Of our universal souls meshing
Tracing Rorschach designs on her hip
My mind erases upon naked flesh
She caught me caught dancing in her slip
& the glory of sunshine after the rain
She smiled in spite of being nervous
Hoping life could begin without the pain
I’m not an artist, just a guy with a pen
Upon a lonely night, I started to write
I jotted down some rhymes for me
Teen angst channeled into the light
I’ve never looked back to think
I just keep writing over the decades
I don’t edit my feelings nor judge you
Purely an attempt for the soul not to fade
A fresh morning in a shabby hotel
Sunshine pouring through open drapes
Heavy, yet obviously threadbare
Blinded; only seeing abstract shapes
Sitting on the edge with a warm mug
Need to move, but my legs won’t go
A few more moments in this peace
Hell begins once I’ve finished this cup of joe
Love letters to myself
A hug written upon a notecard
Scribbles for no one else
Sometimes life is just too hard
Taking moment away from the herd
Break off from all that I know
Losing myself in nature’s glory
Words can slow the overflow
Breathe – just letting it happen
Soon, I’ll be able to take some more
Reflecting my small truths
It’s easier to recover upon the shore
Tracing your collarbone
Your heartbeat, my tranquility
Posed in your heirloom pearls
Emboldened to be the best of my ability
Giant sighs to begin the day
Spiritual attempts to center myself with verse
Coffee to coax the hopeful sun’s rays
I stand proudly naked; deterioration’s only getting worse
You might find me boorish
A buffoon with sensibilities from another age
An undereducated hack with perverse interests
Jotting down any ol’ thought on the page
I can be oblivious, sullen & exhausting
Rarely the life of the party, it’s true
You might find me infuriating
But I assure you, my wife does too
Stayed up all night trying to write
I still can’t get you out of my head
Sleep didn’t come easy this night
Giving anything to only go to bed
The clock ticks past two & three
Knowing there’s nothing I’m going to find
Off dreaming of nothing, where I want to be
Another scotch to still my racing mind
Image by Florian Pircher from Pixabay
I’m not proud of my strength
& the tension at its core
Heartbreak of awkward youth
& the pain it always bore
But time passes & we tend to forget
Replaced by tragedy on the evening news
No longer transcribing loss
Nor remembering that fatal bruise
Trading euphemisms in the dark
Blankets piled high on the bed
Finding warmth between ourselves
Love inhabits where fear can’t tread
Sheets getting tangled in our bodies
Chorus of breathing getting thick
Cherishing & celebrating each moment
Grateful she still let’s me dip my wick
Veering away from mainstream society
Never trusting faces on the news feed
Sensory overload from these endless reels
Algorithm demanding it knows what you need
Don’t try to overthink for yourself
For we have standards to maintain
Get in line, wait for your turn to be free
You’ll go numb; assuredly there won’t be any pain
Rainy days along the intercoastal
Long mornings lead to stressful nights
The last cold hours before Spring
Reading quickly by the escaping light
I know you no longer read my words
But I’m still sending notes into the air
A simple handwritten melody of love
May they float away & one day you’ll be there
Falling stars upon the Caribbean
Heat baking down to my bones
Wishing for a spit of dry land &
Marooned with a lady of nice tones
Mirages dancing out on the water
Out on the flight deck for the breeze
Need to flesh out my humid mind
Fantasies alive out on the high seas
20 years later
I’m still chasing her around the bedroom
My lovely wife; thrice creator of life
Forever trying to uphold the vows of the groom
Time doesn’t stand a chance
Against the perpetual tide of my devotion
More in love with her every day
You know what they say about the laws of motion
I’m seeking a truth within these fragmented words
My thoughts won’t cooperate with how my fingers move
Typing on this old handmedown machine to transform
My mundane existence into a magical, deliberate groove
I am not afraid to expose the flesh of a wilted soul
There are no heroes in these parts, just broken misanthropes
Internalizing the segmented society & all the villains
Returning to coffee so black the void regains precious hope
If you met me in person
You’d think I was an uninteresting guy
That I had no personality
But the truth is I can be painfully shy
But if you let my words speak
I can flourish & blossom before your eyes
There might be something worthy
If only you can wait for the surprise
Delirium induced by broken memories
Shudders left lacking in female attention
Visions remain long after waking
Thus resulting in fragile retention
Those ministrations forever known
Dusting off the scarred, forbidden plot
When did the journey cease to please
Chained to the past with defective thoughts
Slow dancing in only our underwear
Together our souls are completely free
Flawed, but love overriding all
This is the only way I’d ever hope to be
They’re all retreating to the tropics
Away from the city & the grime
Needing a natural heat source
Freeze to death if we don’t find the time
I’m pounding these keys
Trying to create a landmark
Something to last through time
A rhyme to set off a sudden spark
I’m vain in ways I won’t admit
A schedule of words upon the page
Formulas/equations for me to disconnect
Memories for after I’ve withered into age
Waking amongst frozen palm trees
Inhaling air when its a mere shadow of a day
Hoodie donned; sipping coffee on the porch
Salt breeze causing the fronds to sway
You can keep your digital playgrounds
I care not for a Kindle nor a Nook
There’s no time for your technology
At the end of the day, just give me a book
The old fashioned kind, maybe a paperback
Anything without a power source
I don’t need your highbrow radiation
I’ll stick with tangible pages of course
I may hail from generations past
Perhaps I’m boorish, perhaps I’m a lout
But I’m pretty damn basic when the day is done
I’ll still have my pages when the lights go out
The darkness has not lifted
But the voices are getting mean
A subtle slippage in the light
I’m going to need more caffeine
Perhaps some fresh air to heal
When the dreaming has soured
I spy the image in a night shift
The lone lady out at this hour
The gloom begins to recede
With this sweet widow on the block
My heart in rhythm with her words
As the gentle hands on the clock
Offering up a minimalism
Finding cool without effort
Not weak enough to share
Tough; never going to revert
A mental state removed
Not allowing for them to kill
My soul still beating today
The essence won’t be distilled
Try as you forever might
I won’t be boiled down to a word
No single thought or character
All my expressions slowly heard
Running a finger upon the spines
Treasures of unrequited wit
It can be difficult to wear a smile
When you always feel like shit
Fingerprints on the dusty shelves
Disfigured; in need of some rest
Looking for inspiration in the pages
Slowly drowning despite doing my best
External pressures without comparative edges
Weighing down the spirit of our voice
The uneasy relationship with original thought
Fate passes us by when we cannot rejoice
Taking the time to toe the line
Avoiding the demands of unforgiving eyes
Inventing excuses & repeating “everything’s fine”
Society’s broken where truth are all lies
Hope is now measured in slant angles & slopes
Our manufactured social media is a bust
Force fed algorithms & prickly tropes
From Camelot to dystopia when there’s no one to trust
Theorizing over a second cup
My mind just now beginning to glow
Slowly churning inadvertently
Casually tossing out tidbits I know
Seeing my reflection in the spoon
Greymatter a superior substance though
Probably going to need a third cup
If these thoughts are going to flow
Dipping the nib to recreate a dream
God’s plan woven into our sleep
Where do we find our moments of clarity
The ink spreading quietly as if my words weep
Pulling a clean sheet from the ream
Porous surface of the stark linen awaits
No mystic charity in wringing your soul
Close your eyes & embrace your passionate traits
I just want you to love me enough
To be impressed by these words I write
To be flattered & thoroughly aroused
Granting us a bacchanalian night
I just want you to love me profusely
Passionately; all the years through
To be by my side until the Pearly Gates
For that’s how I feel about you
Gather around children
It’s time to listen to a tale
Of mean-spirited politicians
& how they’re trying to make society fail
Never trust those your parents elected
They’re out here banning books for kicks
Aggressively stupid speeches at rallies
While demonstrating fascist parlor tricks
Be careful to watch your language
Lest you offend an old white man
Your school libraries might be empty
But I’ll share all the books they ban
Feeding page after page into the typewriter
I feel like a Saint from a forgotten realm
They could really write back then
Keeping an even keel with one hand on the helm
I’m not the pirate you bargained for
Simple words of varying degrees
I write of the love you’ve desired
But when I only smile, you call me a tease
Smelling of lukewarm coffee & disillusion
Rough mornings coming from too little sleep
Nightmares of our mutual defaulted dreams
Yet you weren’t rumored to be that deep
Stagnant when we were supposed to be more
Odd vibrations upon the last & final pew
Still looking for Her among mismatched notes
But she can make old poems smell brand new
Knowing the sun will shine again
I sit here basking in the midnight air
A quiet sip from my enduring courage
Thinking naughty thoughts of my lady fair
Knowing I can’t sleep when I can write
I fall back into my imaginative stupor
Only to be shook by the dawn’s yawn
Daylight kicks me swift, right in the pooper
Intense.
Uncontrollably shake your foot
Another morning wide awake
Experience as black as soot
We can only be who we are
No sense living in the past tense
These are the ramifications
Blinded to your own suspense
I know who we once were
Though they are now gone
Not victim to anything
Excuses made you the pawn
Shed these moments of hate
Bringing you down another level
Dreams of agony by default
Embraced, but slightly disheveled
Regroup at the breakfast table
Another chance to forever adjust
Calming thoughts to carry through
After all, we’re merely cosmic dust
I still see you when I sleep
Heroine of my iridescent dreams
Basking in the rays of moonlight
Proving love exists between the seams
Marching forward into my mind
Catching lightning in a crystal ball
I am consumed by your beauty
Together we tumble, one for all
Unplugging from the mainframe
Remaining forever off the grid
Don’t need their connections
Don’t know if we ever truly did
The final tragic hero of a modern culture
The soul survivor of a discarded revolution
Histories & experience outside the norm
Dreams of freedom with divine attribution
Dealing with the conceits of perfection
The concepts of loneliness & betrayal
This world isn’t what we were promised
Token hints lost behind a fractured veil
The answers are hidden beyond this life
It may look bleak, but don’t you fret
We have the Source of Light
& they’re still riding that ol’ dialup internet
A spinning beauty upon the mirror
In a perfect white dancing gown
A pirouette for all eternity’s memory
A lady of such illustrious renown
A sunny smile in the cold, cold air
Our frozen ballerina silently wept
Whispering French words softly
Freedom tasted when she first stepped
The small sips after a long day
The setting sun & the horizon’s gone
Relaxing quietly in the simplest ways
Left to retreat until the impending dawn
The winter is dreadful
So we huddle by the fire’s glow
I always loved that sweater
& this feeling we now know
You may not always remain
But this will be my greatest feat
I’ll cherish our every kiss
& surely we’ll always have Yeats
There are answers in the words
Take time to look between the manual scrawl
Feel your body physically push ideas
Deliberate reflection of perfection before the Fall
Hypnotized by the handwritten thought
The slow meditation; pen gripped without pain
Effortless release of mental blocks
To be proud of these scars, but they’re mere ink stains
Listening to these Winter winds
I sure miss kissing your ruby lips
I’m cold these days; alone
Dreaming of holding your naked hips
That’s where my hands need to be
Memories of your perfect back arched
Seeing the outline of your love
Leaves my mouth permanently parched
Opposing dialects of the same depression
Feeling callow when we don’t commiserate
Paperback blues of a notorious sort
You got paid, but that won’t always encapsulate
Strike out to find something foundational
Charms of something more eternal than gold
Words are hollow if not properly digested
Cling to this disjointed life, if you be so bold
A naked woman upon the figurehead
Standing proud in the breeze
Calling to the Sirens & wenches
Knowing the truth of these seas
Her beauty remaining firm & intact
The ship around her orange with rust
The sailors with splinters in their palms
For she has a wooden bust
The infinity of love
The entirety of a single breath
Odd footnotes to a shapely evening
After kissing the feet of Sister MaryBeth
The important ones are those you forgot
Distant notes too unbelievable to remember
But there’s a gravity to these infatuations
Still wearing Fair Isle, though it no longer December
Our dreams aren’t always tangible by birth
Effort & perseverance required, but you can’t relate
You won’t know it, but it’s worth the heartache
We’re doomed to live our days as humans & it’s called fate
Delayed motion of her hand
Lost in thought; unable to translate
The slippery notion of time
Within the energy of a tangible fate
Let us remain discrete in our words
She tries to focus as I obnoxiously flirt
Concentrating on writing proper forms
Caught her unaware as I reached up her skirt
Please don’t question my reality
You’re pandering to a common goal
I’m eradicating acute boredom
Freeing another fractured soul
Redefining fantasy on a personal level
The subtle witness under the veil
Finding happiness outside expectation
Wishing our dreams weren’t so frail
Our solemn tales of passion & woe
My life is to slyly denote
Vigor sizzles quietly away
We try any which way but by rote
Always there to circumvent
Employing a nudist typist
But you get the gist eventually
You know, he was there to assist
You rushed out of my life & into the library
I still lust for you in that black dress
Never ashamed of how I feel
Surprised you expected any less
Shipwrecked.
Isolated on foreign shores since then
Surrounded by predators
Judgement & leers by creepy men
Can only do her best to survive
Keeping quiet in their midst
Don’t want to provoke the beast
Won’t fade to obscurity she insists
It’s complicated to remain equal
These days one must be agile
She keeps them at bay with a grin
While remaining firm but not fragile
Life should have more dancing
More twirls, laughs, dips, lifts & general glee
We can make anything happen
Once she comes home with me
A dream can be a reality if she believes
I know the passionate way I would hold her
My own heart pumping infinite love
Visions of slipping that dress off her shoulders
I wish to caress her by candlelight
Looking into my eyes, asking for more
Whispering all the things she wants
Dancing close until our bodies are sore
Ringing the doorbell at the campus bookstore
A vintage, pull chain contraption
Antiquated, yet still rather expensive
A lot of fine print within the caption
Education is a self-fulfilling myth
When the public library is free
Pay your tuition into the system
It all depends from what lens you wish to see
It’s not too much to ask for
Cold chilling to our bones
When we’re together forevermore
Wrap yourself tightly, I implore
Through love, we must atone
It’s not too much to ask for
Briskness recalls days of yore
Nostalgia to which we’re prone
When we’re together forevermore
Battered ships upon the same shore
Knowing we’re never alone
It’s not too much to ask for
Feeling the true price of this war
Pages of guilt written in stone
When we’re together forevermore
Tossed in the bottom drawer
Realities remaining unknown
It’s not too much to ask for
When we’re together forevermore
I may be an eccentric lover
Quirks, kinks & otherwise secrets of sensual scale
The deliberate & passionate engagement
Though a mere man; my love will never fail
The rest of the world is frozen
Placed under Elsa’s frigid spell
But down here on the beaches
We’re out watching the swells
Sand dusted upon our tanned skin
With the sun hanging over us, high
Palm trees strung with Christmas lights
A warm day called winter, passes us by
Standing wobbly-legged
Spread stance, with a mock salute
Whispering; describing her desires
Soon, I hope she won’t be so mute
Passion of an fantastical nature
Possibly seeming like it’s unreal
Motioning me to come forth
Promises of a love I can feel
Building to a palpable potency
A tangible form of bemused intrigue
Charmed to dizzying arousal
Winding to a whirlwind fatigue
With which note to thoroughly enchant
Steps so sure that time cannot lapse
A smirk; mouthing words to erupt
But knowing I’ll finally leave her unclasped
I want to write
But I don’t have the words
So I watch the ink seep silently
I know you’re thinking I’m absurd
So many empty notebooks
To fill with small little doodles & swirls
Intimidated by the stark whiteness
I don’t know how to create lasting worlds
Pondering & delving into thought
Present in my feelings with offerings to burn
Slowly churning my fickle imagination
In the hopes a bit of creativity might return
Sitting here dissenting all forms of gov’t
Looking for answers in these coffee grounds
Uncovering more & more hatred, with less hope
These political ovations do nothing but compound
Society has gone astray, Jesus take the wheel
We’re all being watched by a perched black bird
Incoherent shrieks & mumbles of “Nevermore”
Universities stacked with all the quotes they misheard
Where are the heroes to protect democracy of the republic
In the wake of fraudulent saints & a presidential pretender
We must devise a prophecy to overtake our future
Lady Liberty’s hem is ablaze; with no elder statesmen to defend her
We’re led by fools, fractures & frauds
Finding ourselves at crossroads armed like Checkpoint Charlie
History won’t be kind to the weak or evil all the same
Needing a guardian like Justice Ginsburg on a Harley
I’m raising a small army of Lost Girls
Feminist soldiers marching – in all but the name
Seeking love, peace & equality for all the people
Hindering harmony will leave you squarely to blame
We all have our differing loyalties
But truth will prevail when time comes to an end
Our trials will be but mere footnotes to antiquity
Faceless angels guiding youth; they shall forever be a friend
I do not have the weight of fading beauty
I was never handed that cross to bear
I will dissipate into the darkness
With few knowing I’m no longer there
But she feels the pain of time
Thinking a curse as we continue to age
The anguish of remaining alive
Yet each new dawn is another blank page
Standing in line for a morning cup
After a pot or two, I’ll be content
But you’re holding up progress
Your specialty is causing me to resent
My anger is slow to rise
But the barista is soaking in your beauty
The rest of us are dying of fatigue & thirst
All the while methinks you’re a bit too snooty
Feigning the glamorous life
Proof of the shiny being a mirage
Charlatan; promising a false idol
Arbiter of a fictional montage
The veil covering honest intentions
Quiet manipulation of time
Epiphanies with truth in reality
But I now know, I’d rather be in the grime
It’s difficult to be unhappy
When you’re chewing gum
So strap on your Chucks
Dance & get you some
Awake early in the naked, teal morning
Still wet from dancing in the rain
My subconscious kissing her femininity
But the memories remain love-stained
Her fingers gripping my shoulders
Our souls constantly trying to absorb
Soft, low moans quietly evident
I’m enchanted by her fleshy orbs
We’re exposed in the light of dawn
A realness that won’t be concealed
We have a glow of our own
No words exist, but a truth she can feel
There’s war out here in these streets
The physical city pulses & seethes
Tamped down by hate of denizens
Facts challenging all that we believe
All of society calling for our attention
While our infrastructure remains unstable
Tragedy & crisis revealed every morning
But I still need to put food on the table
The glories of a sunny morning
Smiling into my coffee; subtle credo
Trying to create my masterpiece
But, I’m distracted by my libido
Looking for my stunning bride
Maybe get a little taste under her skirt
A surefire way to get artistic juices flowing
Interest shifted; she can only help, never hurt
Watching the condensation seep into the desk
I think of the glories that have gone away
The ice melting/mixing into my single malt
I’ve been nervous, but I’m okay by the end of the day
These days weren’t the ones we’ve been dreaming of
Idealistic thoughts when we were on foreign shores
Imagining celebrities dancing in their formalwear
Fancy & festive role models displayed forevermore
Upon the big screen & locked into our minds
Americana lost & the golden age of Hollywood
Stoking the passion of our fervid imaginations
Inspiring our dreams like nothing else ever could
Our hopes & desires abandoned & hung out to dry
March realizations our fantasies are mere celluloid
The cold night, withering on the streets alone
Upon the credits, leaving the theater broke & into the void
Sheets & reams of the nonsensical
Literary blood lost in the shadow of ink
The lifeforce of a simmering soul
Marginal hearts writing love against the kitchen sink
Leaving behind the caricature of an artist
Contributions to society felt in these empty sheets
Fingersmudges marking pages not so white
Starkly exposed with revolutionary words in the streets
Traces of hereditary ideals eroding away
Igniting pages shall still be a stilted sin
Yet we rise again from our desert floor
Eternally grateful our finite letters aren’t porcelain
I know what you’re thinking
I’m clearly uneducated
Immature & mundane
Yeah, but under the surface
Is anything but bland
Drinking with the Harbormaster
Regurgitating things only the ocean knows
Freedom can’t be created any faster
Beauty survives rarely as wild as the rose
Have we forgotten that we’re a rebellious people
Cashing checks under a drifter’s pseudonym
But together, we race across time, surviving
Embracing the unity of singing outlawed hymns
Lately, crying about a falsified history
Disillusioned, disappointed, disingenuous
I have no faith in movements and isms
They’re tinged with the superfluous
I believe in honor & service to the people
Treat each as an individual, never a group
Freedom & liberty distilled down to purest forms
Or else, we’ll see this hatred played out in an endless loop
*Here’s another older one that I think we could all use the message in these trying times.
Too many punks
But only in the aesthetically pleasing sense
Bought their shirts at the 5 & Dime
Along with safety pins
& commercially foraged tattoos
(Can we discuss how punk’s not supposed to be safe?)
Where’s the independence?
Where’s the penchant to damn the man?
Find your sovereign spirit
For no one’s really punk
Until everyone thinks they’re uncool
She’s alone
In spite of all the adoring eyes
Propped firmly on the pedestal
A solitary witness when lust dies
She’s been up there in isolation
The heroine of the bell tower
A slight teeter in her stance
Still defying gravity on the hour
Her alabaster skin shines at night
A chance to quietly & decidedly atone
The decadence of her marble bust
Fingerprints on her heart of stone
Another teary-eyed princess
With a vintage, tarnished crown
Yet, I cannot stop worshipping her
For who’ll catch us, when we all fall down
But from this distance
I cannot properly love her
Lost in the silhouette of a shadow
Emerging as the heat begins to recede
We cannot know what the day holds
Only the way our imagination feeds
Getting outside while the city still sleeps
Early, but I need to get air into these lungs
Darkness illuminates my quiet solitude
Exposing the songs we need to be sung
I feel lost & ineffectual most days
But I haven’t given up living yet
Stretching this old body once more
Finding answers once I’ve sweat
Too many loud souls/When silence will do
Fools too busy collecting trophies & stickers
Not focused on truth of what matters
Sneaking glimpses of soul-revealing knickers
But they’re plastic; not of a proper diet
A mere aesthetic for the internet’s sake
The superficial appetites of modern times
I long for days when passions weren’t fake
Somewhere there is something incorruptible
Something pure that we might know
To purge our lives of superfluous antics
To feel a little more real & a little less faux
On a clear day you can see Fuji
I think that’s what Streisand said
Riding trains toward Shinjuku
Existence hanging by a thread
Bundled in these foreign streets
So simple we often tend to forget
Life-changing inertia rolling along
A tempered life without mixed regret