If you met me in person
You’d think I was an uninteresting guy
That I had no personality
But the truth is I can be painfully shy
But if you let my words speak
I can flourish & blossom before your eyes
There might be something worthy
If only you can wait for the surprise
Delirium induced by broken memories
Shudders left lacking in female attention
Visions remain long after waking
Thus resulting in fragile retention
Those ministrations forever known
Dusting off the scarred, forbidden plot
When did the journey cease to please
Chained to the past with defective thoughts
Slow dancing in only our underwear
Together our souls are completely free
Flawed, but love overriding all
This is the only way I’d ever hope to be
They’re all retreating to the tropics
Away from the city & the grime
Needing a natural heat source
Freeze to death if we don’t find the time
I’m pounding these keys
Trying to create a landmark
Something to last through time
A rhyme to set off a sudden spark
I’m vain in ways I won’t admit
A schedule of words upon the page
Formulas/equations for me to disconnect
Memories for after I’ve withered into age
Waking amongst frozen palm trees
Inhaling air when its a mere shadow of a day
Hoodie donned; sipping coffee on the porch
Salt breeze causing the fronds to sway
You can keep your digital playgrounds
I care not for a Kindle nor a Nook
There’s no time for your technology
At the end of the day, just give me a book
The old fashioned kind, maybe a paperback
Anything without a power source
I don’t need your highbrow radiation
I’ll stick with tangible pages of course
I may hail from generations past
Perhaps I’m boorish, perhaps I’m a lout
But I’m pretty damn basic when the day is done
I’ll still have my pages when the lights go out
The darkness has not lifted
But the voices are getting mean
A subtle slippage in the light
I’m going to need more caffeine
Perhaps some fresh air to heal
When the dreaming has soured
I spy the image in a night shift
The lone lady out at this hour
The gloom begins to recede
With this sweet widow on the block
My heart in rhythm with her words
As the gentle hands on the clock
Offering up a minimalism
Finding cool without effort
Not weak enough to share
Tough; never going to revert
A mental state removed
Not allowing for them to kill
My soul still beating today
The essence won’t be distilled
Try as you forever might
I won’t be boiled down to a word
No single thought or character
All my expressions slowly heard
Running a finger upon the spines
Treasures of unrequited wit
It can be difficult to wear a smile
When you always feel like shit
Fingerprints on the dusty shelves
Disfigured; in need of some rest
Looking for inspiration in the pages
Slowly drowning despite doing my best
External pressures without comparative edges
Weighing down the spirit of our voice
The uneasy relationship with original thought
Fate passes us by when we cannot rejoice
Taking the time to toe the line
Avoiding the demands of unforgiving eyes
Inventing excuses & repeating “everything’s fine”
Society’s broken where truth are all lies
Hope is now measured in slant angles & slopes
Our manufactured social media is a bust
Force fed algorithms & prickly tropes
From Camelot to dystopia when there’s no one to trust
Theorizing over a second cup
My mind just now beginning to glow
Slowly churning inadvertently
Casually tossing out tidbits I know
Seeing my reflection in the spoon
Greymatter a superior substance though
Probably going to need a third cup
If these thoughts are going to flow
Dipping the nib to recreate a dream
God’s plan woven into our sleep
Where do we find our moments of clarity
The ink spreading quietly as if my words weep
Pulling a clean sheet from the ream
Porous surface of the stark linen awaits
No mystic charity in wringing your soul
Close your eyes & embrace your passionate traits
I just want you to love me enough
To be impressed by these words I write
To be flattered & thoroughly aroused
Granting us a bacchanalian night
I just want you to love me profusely
Passionately; all the years through
To be by my side until the Pearly Gates
For that’s how I feel about you
Gather around children
It’s time to listen to a tale
Of mean-spirited politicians
& how they’re trying to make society fail
Never trust those your parents elected
They’re out here banning books for kicks
Aggressively stupid speeches at rallies
While demonstrating fascist parlor tricks
Be careful to watch your language
Lest you offend an old white man
Your school libraries might be empty
But I’ll share all the books they ban
Feeding page after page into the typewriter
I feel like a Saint from a forgotten realm
They could really write back then
Keeping an even keel with one hand on the helm
I’m not the pirate you bargained for
Simple words of varying degrees
I write of the love you’ve desired
But when I only smile, you call me a tease
Smelling of lukewarm coffee & disillusion
Rough mornings coming from too little sleep
Nightmares of our mutual defaulted dreams
Yet you weren’t rumored to be that deep
Stagnant when we were supposed to be more
Odd vibrations upon the last & final pew
Still looking for Her among mismatched notes
But she can make old poems smell brand new
Knowing the sun will shine again
I sit here basking in the midnight air
A quiet sip from my enduring courage
Thinking naughty thoughts of my lady fair
Knowing I can’t sleep when I can write
I fall back into my imaginative stupor
Only to be shook by the dawn’s yawn
Daylight kicks me swift, right in the pooper
Intense.
Uncontrollably shake your foot
Another morning wide awake
Experience as black as soot
We can only be who we are
No sense living in the past tense
These are the ramifications
Blinded to your own suspense
I know who we once were
Though they are now gone
Not victim to anything
Excuses made you the pawn
Shed these moments of hate
Bringing you down another level
Dreams of agony by default
Embraced, but slightly disheveled
Regroup at the breakfast table
Another chance to forever adjust
Calming thoughts to carry through
After all, we’re merely cosmic dust
I still see you when I sleep
Heroine of my iridescent dreams
Basking in the rays of moonlight
Proving love exists between the seams
Marching forward into my mind
Catching lightning in a crystal ball
I am consumed by your beauty
Together we tumble, one for all
Unplugging from the mainframe
Remaining forever off the grid
Don’t need their connections
Don’t know if we ever truly did
The final tragic hero of a modern culture
The soul survivor of a discarded revolution
Histories & experience outside the norm
Dreams of freedom with divine attribution
Dealing with the conceits of perfection
The concepts of loneliness & betrayal
This world isn’t what we were promised
Token hints lost behind a fractured veil
The answers are hidden beyond this life
It may look bleak, but don’t you fret
We have the Source of Light
& they’re still riding that ol’ dialup internet
A spinning beauty upon the mirror
In a perfect white dancing gown
A pirouette for all eternity’s memory
A lady of such illustrious renown
A sunny smile in the cold, cold air
Our frozen ballerina silently wept
Whispering French words softly
Freedom tasted when she first stepped
The small sips after a long day
The setting sun & the horizon’s gone
Relaxing quietly in the simplest ways
Left to retreat until the impending dawn
The winter is dreadful
So we huddle by the fire’s glow
I always loved that sweater
& this feeling we now know
You may not always remain
But this will be my greatest feat
I’ll cherish our every kiss
& surely we’ll always have Yeats
There are answers in the words
Take time to look between the manual scrawl
Feel your body physically push ideas
Deliberate reflection of perfection before the Fall
Hypnotized by the handwritten thought
The slow meditation; pen gripped without pain
Effortless release of mental blocks
To be proud of these scars, but they’re mere ink stains
Listening to these Winter winds
I sure miss kissing your ruby lips
I’m cold these days; alone
Dreaming of holding your naked hips
That’s where my hands need to be
Memories of your perfect back arched
Seeing the outline of your love
Leaves my mouth permanently parched
Opposing dialects of the same depression
Feeling callow when we don’t commiserate
Paperback blues of a notorious sort
You got paid, but that won’t always encapsulate
Strike out to find something foundational
Charms of something more eternal than gold
Words are hollow if not properly digested
Cling to this disjointed life, if you be so bold
Captain Q 