I’m Not Good At Keeping Secrets

I’m not good at keeping secrets
My face said all that needed to be said
I’m judging all the stupid people
I refuse to be soft & cuddly instead

We have too many selfish people
In a time of catastrophe worldwide
Worried about their own cabin fever
Not the repercussions of this time & tide

I called you a fucking moron
But you said I was a little vague
You’re commingling with society
In the midst this Nebonic Plague

I’m from the Fred Durst part of Florida
Not known by the likes of Joe Exotic
& the ignorant coeds on Spring break
Licking doorknobs or whatever they find erotic

I’m on lockdown, cautiously watching the news
Florida’s redneck population can be embarrassing
I’m peeking out from between my fingers
But you still won’t find me watching the Tiger King

Image by Pierre-Laurent Durantin from Pixabay 

The Clouds Descend Upon Us

The clouds descend upon us
Stress compounding at this time of year
Getting darker as the days build
Waxing upon the fruition of fear

This world is a bloody hell
A disaster proven before the ink dries
Scorn for a distant foundation
Futility in which all hope slowly dies

The darkness returns
Looking for a story to wryly begin
Miscommunications falter
& I wade through my vermouth & gin

Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay 

Chasing Time Down A Rabbit’s Hole

Chasing time down a rabbit’s hole

Knowing there’s no way to go on back

Don’t look that way, it’s a mirage

Ghosts aren’t known to be tracked

But we seldom heed our own advice

Reason vanished into our past decisions

Demons try to cling, but they don’t exist

For these antiquated memories are mere apparitions 

Feigning The Glamorous Life

Feigning the glamorous life

Proof of the shiny being a mirage

Charlatan; promising a false idol

Arbiter of a fictional montage

The veil covering honest intentions

Quiet manipulation of time

Epiphanies with truth in reality

But I now know, I’d rather be in the grime

Following The Rabbit Hole

Following the rabbit hole

Keep pulling the thread of thought

Beautiful scarves from the pocket

But magic’s just a detail of the plot

Delving into unconscious fragments

Mental decorations littered from dreams

Weaving our energies coherently

Knowing the secret lies within the seams

These Aren’t Normal Times

These aren’t normal times
Unsure of the rational quotient
They’ve diluted our sanity
Wondering if our minds are still potent

Fantastical elements to the headlines
Looking for a panacea to sullenly cope
The system failing before our eyes
With the masses clinging to any hope

Returning to kindergarten lessons
Keep your hands to yourself
Who knew that toilet paper
Would become a perishable wealth

Looking to science for salvation
But they’ve only come up with social distance
The infrastructure is a trumped up facade
Yet stay calm at their detached insistence

Watching the news has me feeling like Max Headroom
Knowing more, yet I’m labeled as schizophrenic
I have growing frustrations with stupidity
The un-diagnosed symptom in this pandemic

This society is going crazy in quarantine
Turn off the tube, avoid the gov’t’s quotes
You’ll be safer to shutter your doors
& hope zombies don’t show before the antidote

We can’t explain the horrors of the day
The worst thing generations have seen
We’re in this for the long haul now
Or at least until we have the vaccine

This year you’re now on sabbatical
We’re all sorry if you had life plans
But this is the new world order
Stay home & wash your damn hands

My Love Rests Beyond The Ocean

My love rests beyond the ocean

Beyond the miles I can’t control

The one I need to return to

The one whom is intertwined with my soul

Marking stitches upon the globe

I’m stuck on faraway shores

Missing the girl who makes my heart smile

Knowing I don’t want to travel anymore

The world holds no interest to me

For without my bride, I only see greyscale

Time & distance, mere obstacles

I’m coming back, even though I no longer sail

Image by Milada Vigerova from Pixabay 

Please Don’t Question My Reality

Please don’t question my reality

You’re pandering to a common goal

I’m eradicating acute boredom

Freeing another fractured soul

Redefining fantasy on a personal level

The subtle witness under the veil

Finding happiness outside expectation

Wishing our dreams weren’t so frail

Abandoned Nylons

Abandoned Nylons

I felt a growing need to get out into the woods, to leave behind the city and society. We do not need all this nonsense. We, as a people, need to find our roots and return to where God intended us to be. It feels natural to be away from a manmade existence. We don’t need every path paved. It is well within the realm of acceptance to veer off the beaten path and explore this world that lies beyond the limits of comfort. You don’t need wi-fi hotspots at all points of your day. Drop your phone and car keys off. You are past due for a date with your old hiking boots.

I had to get out. This was the moment. 

“Miss Beverly? Ma’am?“ My secretary called after me as I walked out of my office. I just kept walking. I wasn’t going back. I couldn’t. 

This formal attire was smothering me. I had to get out to the fresh air and trees. I had to get away from this city. I reached up and clutched at my throat, pulling my scarf down and out of my way. My heart started beating faster when I heard the Jeep chirp and flash its lights as it unlocked. I like to be self-sufficient. They were forcing my hand. I had to do it.  

I was doing something I shouldn’t be. I whipped the scarf from around my neck and let it get caught up in the air as I threw it out the window. The buttons popped off when I ripped the shirt open, shooting in every direction. I had to get air. I had to get a chance to breathe purity once again. My life was polluted with pre-packaged meals and stop and go traffic. I am not of the mindset that we were ever meant to be stacked upon each other the way we are these days. 

I needed my own space. I needed room to stretch out my arms and feel cleanliness of nature. I sped away as fast as I could. It felt good to be racing out of the city.

The buildings and exit signs were a blur behind me. I needed to find a place where I wasn’t closed in. I wanted to be away from a desk, responsibility and inauthentic expectations. All that was living a lie to me. I didn’t want to be that person any longer. I knew no other way out. 

I made it out of the city. I drove fast without hesitation. I-95 is a long road with a lot of possibilities. It made me smile thinking of all of them.

I pulled over to a small gas station where the 95 hit 17.  While I was putting gas in the tank, I took the top off of the Jeep. It wasn’t doing me any good. I wanted the wind in my hair.

I went inside the minimart to grab some supplies. I loaded up the basket with a couple bottles of wine, some cheese and a cheap pair of flip flops.

A teenage boy was working the counter. His name tag said his name was Bobby. I asked Bobby if he knew a good place to get away and take a few days off. Without taking his eyes off me, he pulled down a business card and handed it to me.

Bobby said his aunt rented the house out. It was right on the beach of Jekyll Island. I merely had to continue down 17 to the 520 and straight to the beach. That sounded simple enough to me.

I thanked him; flashed him a smile and a wink. He blushed. As I was walking out to the Jeep, I caught a glimpse of myself in the window. My shirt was still wide open, revealing my bra. I stopped short, trying to decide if I should be embarrassed. I smiled and continued on my way.

I tucked the bags behind my seat. I pulled off my heels, throwing them back there, too. Then I shimmied out of my nylons. I threw them on the passenger seat.

As I pulled out of that gas station, the wind took the nylons away. I watched them fly into the air. I pressed the accelerator.

The Wind Howling At Midnight

 

The wind howling at midnight
Broken windows – open to the outside air
Exposed to the communal by-passer
Her soul had fallen into disrepair
Fatigue & listless emotions manifesting
Immune to careless compliments
Time to pause & regroup her focus
Happiness born from common sense